Cheska’s due date is tomorrow so I wrote her a letter about becoming a mama and I thought I would share an excerpt…
To my darling sister
I don’t have much advice for giving birth as I gave birth in a very different manner to you – a planned Caesarian versus an unmedicated natural birth. But I do remember this which helped me remain strong:
– Imagine the entire process in your mind, over and over again so by the time it happened you are already some what familiar with it.
– Step outside your self and imagine another time and place, or even a moment. Something. Or somewhere beautiful that you have a strong connection to… Then escape to this place when you need to escape pain or fear, and find comfort in the moment or association of its beauty
– Believe in the power of your strengths. You are one of the strongest people I know. Don’t forget that. Use it.
And then, when the baby is finally here…
– Be present in each and every moment. The magical new born time is so fleeting. But its beauty lies in its fleetingness. In the way life’s essence is captured in that time – the essence of pure love, the essence of time, the essence of new life, the essence of things coming to an end: pregnancy to birth, newborn to baby. It is rare where you can experience so much of life in one moment.
– Revel in those night time feeds when the nights are still, and you feel that you and your baby are the only two beings that exist in the world.
– Have rules but break them. I make a lot of my decisions and judge many of my actions as a parent on whether I am giving my children the most magical, happy childhood.
– Be your own type of mother. You are surrounded my amazing examples of mamas – let us provide guidance and (hopefully) inspiration but don’t let us cloud your instinct as a mama.
– Nap with your babe snuggled up close as often as you want. A sleeping babe on you is one of the best feelings in the world.
– Count. When I’m rocking or soothing I count from 1-60 and then repeat. For some reason this gauging of time keeps my rhythm and speeds up time, and keeps you from getting stressed about the end result.
…You are about to embark on the most incredible, beautiful, difficult, emotional, wonderful, funny, exhausting, exhilarating, overwhelming, happiest ride of your life. Be prepared to cry out of love, and to laugh out of exhaustion, to think you’ve reached your end, and then keep going, to wake up every morning and feel like the luckiest person in the world to be holding your baby in your arms. Be prepared to miss moments as they are happening. To feel the fear of loss that never leaves you. To feel an unconditional love that makes you feel more powerful than anything on earth.